A Refusal To Be Defined By Others Leads To Brilliance

I was listening to an interview on NPR earlier today with Sidney Poitier. I truly love hearing people’s stories. Seeing the different currents and flavors and how they shape a person’s growth is absolutely fascinating.

Mr. Poitier was talking about growing up in the Caribbean and eventually being sent by his parents to live with a brother in Miami. It was quite a shock to a young man who, until he was 10, had never seen his own reflection in anything other than a pool of water. He had never thought of himself as being all that different from other people. That was the case until he, as a young dark-skinned male moved to the southern state of Florida.

Faced with the blatant and extreme racism of the South at that time, he made a decision that I found incredibly interesting. Poitier’s comment went something like, “I felt that they were attempting to define me as a man in terms of how I looked. I didn’t feel they had the right to define me, so I moved to New York in an attempt to define myself. It was there that I found the theater and the rest is history.” Now here is what I found so interesting in his comment. He, for whatever reason, had the strength and presence to not allow external circumstances or people to determine who he was. He refused to give others that kind of power over him.

How many of us allow ourselves to be defined by outside circumstances or people? Who dictates to you who you are allowed to be? Is it parents, a spouse, children or possibly a boss? What about others in your social circle? Is who you are, determined by who others expect you to be?

The story of Poitier is one of refusing to allow others to define him. It is a story of self-definition. Our story too should be a refusal to allow others to define our identity. They simply do not have the power or authority to do so. Yet unlike Poitier, we do not have the power or authority to define who we are either. It is simply not our right.

You see, as creatures our identity is given to us by a Creator. It is not the clay pot that determines its use, but rather the Potter. So what identity does the Creator bestow upon his creation? Ultimately we are to be “glory-givers” to the same Creator who made us. Our chief end, our highest goal is truly to glorify the One who grants existence and gives purpose.

So how do we do that? Quite simply we live life, as creatures, in light of who the Creator says we already are (sons dearly loved, quite in spite of our record rather than because of it) doing the tasks which He designed us to do (summed up in Jesus’ interaction with the lawyer in Luke 10. Love the Lord and love your neighbor.)

Our identity is not to be defined by who others (or ourselves apart from the Biblical story) tell us it should be. We see this clearly also in God’s conversation with Abraham back in Genesis 12. God gives Abraham the paradigm, that he will bless Abraham so that he will be a blessing. Love God, love others. Receive grace from God, distribute grace to others. Life, our identity, is defined by God as receiving blessing from his gracious hand so that in relationship with others as we walk daily among the fields he has placed us in, we might love others well.

Who defines us? Now the harder question. How has that worked out so far? We, as creatures, will only be fulfilled when we are pursuing the purposes for which we were created, that being, loving God and loving others, receiving grace from God and carrying grace to all.

Notice how little focus there is in this paradigm on "me". Our time, our relationships, our finances, our very being is most glorifying to the God who created us when we are receiving grace and pursuing others. It is an inherently externally focused life to which we are called. A people who truly “get” this truth cannot be ignored or marginalized by society. All of the conservative handwringing about the “aggressive liberal agenda” and the incredible shrinking church in the West simply disappears as an issue.

For when a particular people are confronted by the glory of God in the form of the people of God pursing the mission of God, which is sharing the grace of God while being empowered by the Spirit of God, this people has no choice but to be changed by that God.