This ain't your mama's restaurant

In my role encouraging believers to engage in relationships for the sake of the gospel, I often hear the comment, "It is just so hard to get any time at all with non-christians.". This article from Garden and Gun magazine (don't ask) gives what I believe to be one of the coolest ways to engage and develop relationships with absolute strangers that I have seen in quite some time.

Plus, it sounds like a bunch of hip, fun loving people. And honestly, don't we all miss those hip, fun-loving people we used to be before mortgage payments, dirty diapers and mini-vans drug us into our current reality? This is an additional article discussing the trend with Austin, TX Supper Underground founder Hannah Calvert.

What an intriguing way to engage life with perfect strangers over something we all love, namely great food and conversation!

A Refusal To Be Defined By Others Leads To Brilliance

I was listening to an interview on NPR earlier today with Sidney Poitier. I truly love hearing people’s stories. Seeing the different currents and flavors and how they shape a person’s growth is absolutely fascinating.

Mr. Poitier was talking about growing up in the Caribbean and eventually being sent by his parents to live with a brother in Miami. It was quite a shock to a young man who, until he was 10, had never seen his own reflection in anything other than a pool of water. He had never thought of himself as being all that different from other people. That was the case until he, as a young dark-skinned male moved to the southern state of Florida.

Faced with the blatant and extreme racism of the South at that time, he made a decision that I found incredibly interesting. Poitier’s comment went something like, “I felt that they were attempting to define me as a man in terms of how I looked. I didn’t feel they had the right to define me, so I moved to New York in an attempt to define myself. It was there that I found the theater and the rest is history.” Now here is what I found so interesting in his comment. He, for whatever reason, had the strength and presence to not allow external circumstances or people to determine who he was. He refused to give others that kind of power over him.

How many of us allow ourselves to be defined by outside circumstances or people? Who dictates to you who you are allowed to be? Is it parents, a spouse, children or possibly a boss? What about others in your social circle? Is who you are, determined by who others expect you to be?

The story of Poitier is one of refusing to allow others to define him. It is a story of self-definition. Our story too should be a refusal to allow others to define our identity. They simply do not have the power or authority to do so. Yet unlike Poitier, we do not have the power or authority to define who we are either. It is simply not our right.

You see, as creatures our identity is given to us by a Creator. It is not the clay pot that determines its use, but rather the Potter. So what identity does the Creator bestow upon his creation? Ultimately we are to be “glory-givers” to the same Creator who made us. Our chief end, our highest goal is truly to glorify the One who grants existence and gives purpose.

So how do we do that? Quite simply we live life, as creatures, in light of who the Creator says we already are (sons dearly loved, quite in spite of our record rather than because of it) doing the tasks which He designed us to do (summed up in Jesus’ interaction with the lawyer in Luke 10. Love the Lord and love your neighbor.)

Our identity is not to be defined by who others (or ourselves apart from the Biblical story) tell us it should be. We see this clearly also in God’s conversation with Abraham back in Genesis 12. God gives Abraham the paradigm, that he will bless Abraham so that he will be a blessing. Love God, love others. Receive grace from God, distribute grace to others. Life, our identity, is defined by God as receiving blessing from his gracious hand so that in relationship with others as we walk daily among the fields he has placed us in, we might love others well.

Who defines us? Now the harder question. How has that worked out so far? We, as creatures, will only be fulfilled when we are pursuing the purposes for which we were created, that being, loving God and loving others, receiving grace from God and carrying grace to all.

Notice how little focus there is in this paradigm on "me". Our time, our relationships, our finances, our very being is most glorifying to the God who created us when we are receiving grace and pursuing others. It is an inherently externally focused life to which we are called. A people who truly “get” this truth cannot be ignored or marginalized by society. All of the conservative handwringing about the “aggressive liberal agenda” and the incredible shrinking church in the West simply disappears as an issue.

For when a particular people are confronted by the glory of God in the form of the people of God pursing the mission of God, which is sharing the grace of God while being empowered by the Spirit of God, this people has no choice but to be changed by that God.

Ordinary people doing ordinary things with gospel intentionality

From total CHURCH: a radical reshaping around Gospel and Community

by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis

Major events have a role to play in church life, but the bedrock of gospel ministry is low-key, ordinary, day-to-day work that often goes unseen. Most gospel ministry involves ordinary people doing ordinary things with gospel intentionality. Whether it is helping a friend, working at the office, or going to the movies, there is a commitment to building relationships, modeling the Christian faith and talking about the gospel as a natural part of conversation…….

But the “ordinary” is only a vehicle for Christian mission if there is gospel intentionality. The ordinary needs to be saturated with a commitment to living and proclaiming the gospel. The gospel is a message, and so mission only takes place as we share that word with people. A commitment to mission through community works only if the gospel is a strong value within that community. Otherwise we simply form good friendships that never go anywhere…….

Western culture has become very compartmentalized. We divide our lives into work time, leisure time, family time, church time, and mission or outreach time. We want to spend more time in evangelism, but because this can happen only at the expense of something else, it never happens. Rethinking evangelism as relationships rather than events radically changes this. Evangelism is not an event to be squeezed into our busy schedules. It becomes an intention that we carry with us throughout the day…….

Ideas for relationship building in your neighborhood this summer

The summer is an incredible time for pouring ourselves out relationally in our neighborhoods. Kids are out of school. Evenings are long. The weather at the lake is spectacular. Let's not lose the summer's potential for kingdom building in a narcissistic pursuit of our own individualized pleasure. It is simply not about us. Look outward and upward. Who is God calling us to "inconvenience" ourselves for this summer?

(Why we see pursuing relationships with others as an "inconvenience" in the first place is pretty revelatory in regards to how little we understand about God's heart and our role in His grand plan for restoration and redemption. It could be a whole seminar in itself, mainly including multiple confessions on my part of just how poorly I do this kind of stuff.)

Fire up the grill

Who doesn’t love the smell of meat on the grill? Susie and I once roasted a whole pig in our back yard in Bluff Park and around 60 people showed up. Now you certainly don’t have to go that big, several chicken breasts will do the job nicely. The point is not really even the food, but rather the relationships. Some of our closest friends in our neighborhood were met because we threw a back yard get together last October. And don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to “save somebody” in one evening. Again, the assumption is that we will be honoring our neighbors and new friends by valuing them as image bearers of the King as they are. Unless we love others well, they will never hear anything else we say, nor should they.

Plan a “MO” schedule

What is a “MO” schedule? Basically it is a scheduled mom’s outing. A schedule is set, once a week or so. This Tuesday we go to the zoo. Two weeks from now we go to the McWayne Center. Two weeks after that we have a park play-date. And so forth and so on. The schedule can vary depending the other moms in your neighborhood and their interests. What mom with a house full of “fresh out of school for the summer” kids wouldn’t like to get out of the house with a few other moms for some contained chaos? Again, the goal is to build relationships. Use your children’s class list for school, dance class, soccer team, etc. Invite other parents you don’t know well.

Block Party

Kind of along the lines of a grill out, but get multiple neighbors involved with the planning stage. 5 or 6 families on a street getting together can draw a lot of attention. Pay attention to people. The guy you meet that lives three doors down may be your golf partner next weekend. You might find out you have more in common than you think. All in the context of getting outside of the evangelical “bubble” and getting to know people so that next weekend on the golf course or next year when a child is rebelling or three years from now when a prostate exam comes back iffy, there is a relational context of love and grace in which the gospel can take root and grow.

Campout

Dad’s in the woods with kids. Nothing says “intimacy” to a guy better than semi-charred iron skillet bacon and eggs and ash coated toast.

Use vacations wisely

Invite a non-christian couple to vacation together. Okay, I admit this may be sticky. But what area of life isn’t? Allow wisdom and the Spirit to lead, but do not blindly assume that the Holy Spirit wants us to spend time only in “safe” enclaves with other Christians. What better venue to teach our children how to live in relationship with non-christians than an extended stay vacation. (And what better way for a non-christian family to observe differences in parenting, marital communication and general philosophy of life than in this same environment.)

Thats what I'm talkin 'bout

The following is a recent entry by Jonathan Dodson of Austin City Life Church.

Eat with Non-Christians

We all eat three meals a day. Why not make a habit of sharing one of those meals with a non-Christian or with a family of non-Christians? Go to lunch with a co-worker, not by yourself. Invite the neighbors over for family dinner. If it’s too much work to cook a big dinner, just order pizza and put the focus on conversation. When you go out for a meal, invite a non-Christian friend. Or take your family to family-style restaurants where you can sit at the table with strangers and strike up conversations. Have cookouts and invite Christians and non-Christians. Flee the Christian subculture.

Walk, Don’t Drive

If you live in a walkable area, make a practice of getting out and walking around your neighborhood, apartment complex, or campus. Instead of driving to the mailbox or convenience store, walk to get mail or groceries. Be deliberate in your walk. Say hello to people you don’t know. Strike up conversations. Attract attention by walking the dog, carrying along a 6-pack to share, bringing the kids. Make friends. Get out of your house! Last night I spent an hour outside gardening with my family. We had good conversations with about four of our neighbors. Take interest in your neighbors. Ask questions. Engage. Pray as you go. Save some gas, the planet, and some people.

Be a Regular

Instead of hopping all over the city for gas, groceries, haircuts, eating out, and coffee, go to the same places at the same times. Get to know the staff. Smile. Ask questions. Be a regular. I have friends at coffee shops all over the city. My friends at Starbucks donate a ton of leftover pastries to our church 2-3 times a week. We use them for church gatherings and occasionally give them to the homeless. Build relationships. Be a regular.

Hobby with Non-Christians

Pick a hobby that you can share. Get out and do something you enjoy with others. Try city league sports or local rowing and cycling teams. Share your hobby by teaching lessons, such as sewing, piano, knitting, or tennis lessons. Be prayerful. Be intentional. Be winsome. Have fun. Be yourself.

Talk to Your Co-workers

How hard is that? Take your breaks with intentionality. Go out with your team or task force after work. Show interest in your co-workers. Pick four and pray for them. Form moms’ groups in your neighborhood and don’t make them exclusively non-Christian. Schedule play dates with the neighbors’ kids. Work on mission.

Volunteer with Non-Profits
Find a non-profit in your part of the city and take a Saturday a month to serve your city. Bring your neighbors, your friends, or your small group. Spend time with your church serving your city. Once a month. You can do it!

Participate in City Events
Instead of playing XBox, watching TV, or surfing the net, participate in city events. Go to fundraisers, festivals, cleanups, summer shows, and concerts. Participate missionally. Strike up conversation. Study the culture. Reflect on what you see and hear. Pray for the city. Love the city. Participate with the city.

Serve Your Neighbors

Help a neighbor by weeding, mowing, building a cabinet, or fixing a car. Stop by the neighborhood association or apartment office and ask if there is anything you can do to help improve things. Ask your local Police and Fire Stations if there is anything you can do to help them. Get creative. Just serve!

Our Current Position in the Grand Scheme of Things

The following is an update of a video you may be familiar with regarding where we are at this point in history as a global community. Pretty wild. The question at the end is a great one for us, as the church, to be asking ourselves. What, if anything, does where and when we are (little insider reference for all you LOST-ies out there) as a people have to say about how the church approaches her calling. It is little wonder why, to many around us, we seem to be approaching much of what concerns them with a hand puppet on one hand and a flannel board in the other.

In other words, early 20th century Evangelicalism was NOT the "Golden Age" of the church. The more we hold on to nostalgia, the further away we are from what the gospel is calling us to do today and in the future. Of course I am not talking about rewriting orthodox theology. There is ONE standard to which we adhere. However, the methods by which we communicate that unchanging truth must be informed by current cultural communicative methods. No idea what all that looks like in the end, but a great thought process that must take place as we seek to engage future generations with the gospel.